*precisely determines where i should take the next bite of my sandwich*
i like wearing lipstick because you leave marks on literally everything omg. kiss a boy’s cheek? my boy now. drink out of a cup? my cup forever. don’t even think about having coffee out of that thing. it’s like marking your territory
For April Fools’ Day, my local radio station is playing literally nothing but Backstreet Boys’ songs and announcing them as other songs, and I think that’s beautiful.
That’s not a joke that’s a gift
Have you ever bullshitted an assignment so hard you basically laugh after every sentence you write
i hate when ppl with drawn on eyebrows critique people with actual hair eyebrows in the real world eyebrows are sisters not twins